When Julie and I started hanging out after we first moved into college, I noticed that she says a lot of funny things. Actually, first I noticed that she wears a lot of black tank tops. (She has literally thousands of black tank tops.) Then I noticed that she says a lot of funny things. I started tweeting kind of excessively about these funny things. Julie got annoyed with the tweets and threatened to stop saying funny things altogether if I didn’t quit quoting her on Twitter. But she’s too funny for that. She just can’t stop saying funny things. So for the past two and a half years, she’s been saying funny things, I’ve been stealth-drafting tweets of things she says when she’s not looking, and then when she finally checks her phone and sees a new notification from Twitter, she glares at me and probably fantasizes about punching my face. But she still loves me I think.
So in lieu of actually having to write my own jokes this week, I have decided to put together a collage. A Twitter collage. A Julie Twitter collage. (She’s probably gonna hate this, guys. I can’t wait.)
In the fall of our freshman year, things started on a surprisingly religious note.
Then Jules started questioning our school’s mascot.
We passed a weird-looking white house on campus at some point.
I think it was around then that Julie threatened to stop saying funny things. But she didn’t.
Sometimes she just said sad things that made me want to give her a warm bath and a hot meal, like people do with stray cats in the movies.
One morning, I live-tweeted our morning pillow talk. She didn’t know until she checked her phone a few hours later.
And the rest, well, they’re just Julie-isms. The girl has a way with words.
You’re the best, Jules.
(And I’m never gonna stop tweeting.)