Meta Thoughts on Hannah’s Couch
We’re sitting on Hannah’s couch in Nashua. Julie’s cold, and she’s wearing a max-fuzziness sweatshirt that Hannah bought from Marshall’s a few weeks ago. Hannah’s typing this right now, and the whole 3rd-person thing feels pretty weird, but we just wanted to let you guys know that this is going to be one of those ones written from both of us.
Co-writing when you’re sitting right next to each other and one person is reading over the other one’s shoulder the whole time is really hard, and we both usually end up staring at the computer screen until one of us says, “do you wanna just watch Girls?” So bear with us here, and know that we’d rather be watching Girls. This is Julie now by the way.
I don’t know if you noticed, but we didn’t post last Monday. (No one texted us. We really thought at least one person would text us.) We’re also conducting a test to see if you can figure out who is actually writing at any point in this post. The test will be cumulative, and worth 82% of your final grade. The other 12% is participation, so read up, fuckers. (This is still Julie.)
Basically, we’ve been feeling a little unloved. We think we peaked in popularity the week that we became famous, but lately our readership has been on the decline. We’ve noticed over the years that towards the end of any semester, readership just goes down. It’s no one’s fault. It’s definitely not our fault. It just happens naturally. Like cyclical unemployment in the United States due to strange and inexplicable economic forces. (Credit Hannah on that last line. She took an Econ final this morning. Still recovering.)
We also noticed something else. If we leave for a while, and then come back with some big announcement—like, hey guys, we’re BLOGGING again!—you guys absolutely eat it up. It’s like when Gandalf comes back from the dead as Gandalf the White in The Two Towers and he saves Pippin and Merry in the forest from the talking trees.
(A behind the scenes look at the making of this post:
Hannah: What’s a movie where a character like dies and comes back or something?
Julie: GANDALF. FUCKING GANDALF.)
So yeah. We’re still on Hannah’s couch. We’d still rather be watching Girls. We will probably be watching Girls very soon (the one where Hannah wears a see-through, yellow mesh top on a Wednesday—we already decided). But we just wanted to let you guys know that last week, we were in fact testing to see if you’d notice when we didn’t show up, like a passive-aggressive bully on an elementary school playground. And you didn’t notice. So now we’re going to accidentally-on-purpose hit you in the face with a Foursquare ball. It’s gonna be the kind with the little ridges on it, and it will leave marks on your forehead.
This is Hannah typing now, but Jules and I thought of the Foursquare-ball-to-the-face punchline at the exact same time. Seriously. When I said it she looked at me like we were in What Women Want, and she was the Helen Hunt and to my Mel Gibson. (If you haven’t seen the hit 2000 rom-com What Women Want—well, don’t. It sucks. But Mel Gibson reads a lot of minds and waxes his own legs at one point.)
“We just wrote a page and a half of unnecessary bullshit to tell them that we’re not going to be blogging for a few weeks.” –Julie. She really wants me to get to the point that we won’t be blogging for the next few weeks.
To be honest, you guys have been getting tired of us, we’ve been getting tired of us, and we’re really looking forward to vegging hard on this vacation. Hannah and Julie are taking a winter holiday. We’ll be back in late January after we’ve eaten our weight in cookies and SOMETHING.*
*This is what we do when we can’t think of that one last witty thing. Extremely effective.
Who’s typing right now, by the way? And whose head is currently resting on the typer’s very bony shoulder? (The world may never know.) We’ll miss you guys. You’ll eventually miss us, too. We’re counting on it.
In the meantime, enjoy this random collection of photos that we just found on our phones. (The one of us who isn’t typing had to do something, right?)
For five minutes, Julie was really excited about taking pictures of Hannah with mundane things at the Sam Adams Brewery Tour. (Post coming eventually: “Touristy Pictures of Hannah in Totally Normal Places.”)
Iconic things that happened on December 10th: We became friends on Facebook, and Hannah quoted Fatboy Slim.
Happy holidays, friends. We’ll be back soon.